Monday, February 13, 2017

For the future of Science!

**Yes, yes I’m going to tell them now. No! I’m not changing my mind about this, it has to be done for the greater good! (echo: the greater good) Now cut that out! I swear if you eggheads spent as much time actually doing work around here as you do watching movies, I’d have a studio setup that worked flawlessly and this light would be reliable! What? It’s on? Dammit not again! **

Friday, January 20, 2017

A storm's a comin'

What have you guys been doing? This place is a mess, where's the damn switch in here? You've all been throwing parties while I'm gone, but can't clean up? Peanut brittle, candycorn, panties, ... a traffic cone? Really? Where did that come from? Hey the light works now? Wait.. Dammit!

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Personally Identified

January 18th, 2017

Gather round one and all as I regale you with a textual re enactment of a strange little happening, once again at *hotel*

The cast for tonight’s dramatization are as follows;

The character of Steve (Me), played by yours truly
The character of Person One (P1), played by Random Person
The character of Person Two (P2), played by Other Random Person

Person one approaches the ATM, presumably to withdraw some funds. They insert their card and look perplexed as they read the screen.

P1: “It’s asking for my personal number, what’s that?”

P2: “Have you got numbers on your accounts?”

P1: “I dunno, what’s a personal number?”

P2: “What’s it asking?”

P1: “It wants a personal number. I know my PIN but what’s a personal number?”

Me: “PIN stands for Personal Identification Number, it’s asking for your PIN.”

P1 & P2: “Oh.”

Me: “....”

-FIN-

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Boom go the Fireworks

So CBC ran a story about a St. John's City councilor who is taking a stance on Fireworks, to show his constituents that he's doing something. But he also said the City's hands are tied when it comes to the use of Fireworks.

Now I'm just an average idiot with access to Google to search things out and it only took me about five minutes to find the City of St. John's By Laws. You think a City Councilor would be able to look these up as well....

Monday, December 12, 2016

Weather Machine Blues

*tap tap* *pfffft*

This thing on? What the hell happened to the little light we had? Well change the freakin' blub for cryin' out loud! What am I paying you for any way? I'm not? Yes I am. Oh, I'm on? ... Dammit!

Monday, November 28, 2016

I'm back! Did you miss me?

Friends, Romans, Test Subjects, lend me your ears.... Ow! Who threw that? What was... wait was that actually your ear? How did you? Detachable? That's equal parts gross and amazing... can it re-attach? Get the lab boys working on that! There's money to be made here I'm sure of it!

Sunday, September 25, 2016

But What Does It Mean?

Now, for your viewing confusion, I present a list of things overheard this past weekend while at Atlanti-CON. There are no points of reference, no clarification and no explanation for anything said. It can all be taken Out of CONtext.

To quote a friend of mine; “Names have been kept the same to reflect the strange…”

Wednesday, August 03, 2016

Thursday, July 21, 2016

I am a victim

I never thought I'd type that title.

I've never been arrogant enough or foolish enough to believe that it would never happen to me. In my 37 years on this earth, I've worked a few jobs where it could have happened, pushing a Dickie Dee Ice Cream cart around Mount Pearl, working in a gas station, working in a little corner store. Never ever did it happen, and now it has.

Thursday, March 03, 2016

Advanced Warning For Once!

*There! You see that. It's an "On Air" sign. Simple and effective, when it's off, I'm not broadcasting, when it's on, I'm live. Classic design, white background and red lettering. It all lights up nicely, see. Wait, it's been on this whole... dammit!*