The systematic elimination of fun

First fireworks and now sliding.

Ban sliding... What's next? No skating on ponds? No snowball fights? No building a snow fort?

I'm back and doesn't it feel good!

*Tap Tap* *Tap Tap*

 This thing on? 

 It's been a while since I've used this equipment, does it even still work? 

 Friends, Newfoundlanders, Test Subjects, lend me your ears!

 *splat*

 What the? Eww! Jeez, I didn't mean literally. You're fired mister! 

 Also, get someone from legal on patenting detachable ears!