Ladies and Gentlemen, assorted test subjects, et at. It was first reported as an incident, then it was upgraded to situation, and now we're on the brink of having a full blown occurrence. We need to nip it in the bud before it becomes a circumstance.
I know you've been wondering where I've been, well I've been whippin... working hard with the Lab Boys to try and get the Weather Machine™ working at peak efficiency. I would have been here earlier except for that.
I'm happy to report that it's working perfectly, for a smouldering pile of rubble. It's doing that really well.
We got it up and running, and were fine tuning the new A.I. that's Artificial Intelligence to you lay folk, and that's when it all went south. Literally. It looked at the data of the impending weather event that's coming and abruptly turned off its stabilizer jets and plummeted the half mile from altitude to it's What have you guys been doing? This place is a mess, where's the damn switch in here? You've all been throwing parties while I'm gone, but can't clean up? Peanut brittle, candycorn, panties, ... a traffic cone? Really? Where did that come from? Hey the light works now? Wait.. Dammit!
Ladies and Gentlemen, assorted test subjects, et at. It was first reported as an incident, then it was upgraded to situation, and now we're on the brink of having a full blown occurrence. We need to nip it in the bud before it becomes a circumstance.
I know you've been wondering where I've been, well I've been whippin... working hard with the Lab Boys to try and get the Weather Machine™ working at peak efficiency. I would have been here earlier except for that.
I'm happy to report that it's working perfectly, for a smouldering pile of rubble. It's doing that really well.
We got it up and running, and were fine tuning the new A.I. that's Artificial Intelligence to you lay folk, and that's when it all went south. Literally. It looked at the data of the impending weather event that's coming and abruptly turned off its stabilizer jets and plummeted the half mile from altitude to it's demise.
After that I went out among the masses to see how things were going and I'm happy to report that pillaging had begun even without prompting from me at several grocery stores. That's good initiative people! I'm happy to have had a guiding hand in your training!
Thanks to the hard work I saw yesterday, if it continues, we might just get through this. By we, I of course mean you people. I'll be safe and sound in my geothermally powered and heated bunker.
Now remember, I know the pillaging is underway, so I will be deploying the Collection Bots™ at my earliest convenience to get my tribute. I need it now more than ever if I'm going to get the lab boys to rebuild the Weather Machine™.
Do not taunt the Collection Bots™! I know I say that every event, but some of you aren't getting the message. One hero tried to throw a hammer into oen of them last time, he was reduced to a steaming pile of goo that melded with the asphalt. Wouldn't be so bad if he'd just stop whining about it. Don't let that be you!
Let's see... pillaging, groceries, oh and gas stations, have to empty those too... in the likelihood of a loss of power, when the looting starts, my take of the plunder is still 70%... what's left... Oh right the Brute Squad™!
They won't be out among the bots tonight for three reasons;
a ) it's going to be really nasty outside and I'm not a boss without a heart.
2 ) They were originally sent out with the Collection Bots™ to protect them, but their on board weapons are good enough.
d ) Joey Knuckles and his team will be encouraging the lab team to get a new machine in order as quickly as possible. A little motivation always helps!
I know with a little hard work, we can all get through this together. All of you out in the storm and me relaxing in the harem in my grotto. I recently installed a hot spring and a steam bath in there and it needs to be tested out by me and the girls.
We're done here!
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